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Richie Benaud
IP: 150.101.127.238 Jan 1, 07 - 5:40 AM |
Letter from our man "down under"
Letter From Australia From the "path's" man down under Richie Benaud Morning everyone. Melburnians were relieved when the prolonged drought was broken over the coldest Christmas since Rolf Harris was a lad. Meteorologists claim that the unseasonal depression over SE Australia was caused by “Pommie Mourning” a phenomenon triggered by tens of thousands of cricket fans who had paid an arm and a leg to watch their team surrender in three days. Their only moment of light relief was when an Aussie dressed in a kangaroo suit and boxing gloves broke into the Barmy Army enclosure to be ejected by the Aussie fun police to a chorus of “your s**t and you know you are” to the tune of “Go West” Rumours of Poms doing anything to get a seat to watch such misery were reinforced when three men, Smith, Smith and Berry were sought for selling their sheilas to Chinese slave traders in exchange for Boxing Day tickets. Police are searching for “The Smith Gang” down the Great Ocean Road where they were last seen leaving a pile of clothes on the beach before catching the bus to Woolloomoorapath. In the freezing weather Poms huddled together for warmth in their shorts and teeshirts while “rugged up” Aussies watched their antics with amusement. The Murray family from Oxford were hospitalised with hypothermia and frostbite caused by attempting to drink a midi of Carlton Draught served at the temperature of liquid nitrogen while sensible home supporters drank hot chocolate with mittens. Predictions of a 5-0 whitewash at Sydney look unlikely as, as expected, the deep depression moved north with the Poms bringing rain and storms to NSW. The Sydneysiders, desperate for rain, set off some fireworks in celebration of the arrival of “The Rain Bringers” as the Poms are now known. Marvellous! RB |
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