I prefer the contra-indicated solution of tar and feathers but one supposes in this day and age it should have to be bio-tar with added whitening effect and biodegradable artificial feathers.
I have already made some progress developing a safe alternative from treacle but I still use feathers as there is a surplus of chicken feathers from the food industry.
I do need to run some 'elf and safety trials and because of the criticism from many about small numbers clusters etc. I think the trials will need to be very large scale and conducted only on climatologists, politicians and Carbon Traders in case there is some genetic divergence in this group from the main stream population that might otherwise invalidate the trial.
I am looking for volunteers/nominees for this trial.