Honeychile, let me tell you a l'il story about an evenin' I shared with the most impotent 19-year-old in history. I'm talkin' 'bout one Brian P. Yates. Oh he wined me and dined me with barbecue beef and a sixer of Miller, but when those shorts came off - and they had Darth Vaders on 'em - findin' that little pecker 'o his was like pullin' a tadpole from Miss Jackson's Pond. I said, 'Honeychile, you got somethin' for me down there?', then he started up with all this Nazi, Commie hogwash. Jiminy Christmas, I says. Sounds like an environmentalist to me. I told him that, I did. I said, 'Ole Blanche ain't one to environmentalize, but she appreciates a bit 'o lumber.' He got out in his stocking feet and five miles back into Pikeville. Funny. I still have his car.



- Blanche

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Replying to:

Hold up. Are you telling us you have actual first hand information on the sexual dysfunction of a real live Rube? Well I think that this would make an interesting guest editorial. Feel free to purge yourself here at Rube Watch, and answer the questions on all of our minds - did he leave his socks on the whole time or did he call out his own name at the moment of climax?

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Replying to:

Brian P. Yates has a tiny penis