That's how it felt the day my convert daughter married her sweetheart in an LDS temple six years ago.

None of the people the church judged worthy to be present could have told you the song she played at her first piano recital, the name of her fourth grade teacher, or which grandparent she inherited her beautiful hazel eyes from.

For twenty years I was there for every important moment and most of the not-so-important moments of her life. First tooth, first steps....I taught her to ride a bike and later to driver a car. I cried the day she started kindergarten, cheered at her high school graduation, and helped her move into her college dorm. I would do it all again and more.

But then came the special and unique moment she became a married woman and a new son joined our family. For that moment the LDS church judged our entire family unworthy and instructed us to take our breaking hearts and wait outside. Yes, the LDS church demanded that my daughter and son-in-law demean the very people whose love, support, and wisdom they would rely upon in the future.

Let me be clear. I am NOT asking for non-Mormons to be allowed into LDS temples. I am demanding that the LDS church do away with the one year penalty for couples who choose to marry first outside of the temple and let them be sealed later that day or week or month. They all ready do this in other countries which demonstrates that the one year punishment is not doctrinal.

The LDS church needs to put action behind their PR pro-family rhetoric. LDS leaders need to start putting people before policy, foster conciliation instead of estrangement, and encourage couples to build bridges to the non-Mormon family instead of insisting that they burn them.