A Helicopter made mad love to a mad cow without an utter.

Kid went to school one day. The teacher says, "Where were you yesterday, Johnny? You didn't come to school." He said, "I had to take the cow to the bull to get her bred." "Couldn't your daddy have done that?" "No m'am. It has to be a bull."

Two fellows traveling through the country, one turned to the other and said, "Nice bunch of cows", the other fellow said "HERD", Heard what?, "Herd of cows", "Of course I've heard of cows", "No, cow herd", "What do I care what a cow heard?" "Nice bunch of cows" "I just said that dummy".

A cow walks into a bull pen and says:

"Hey! How about a little service here!"

The animals of the jungle are playing a football game. They choose up sides and when they kickoff the Rhinocerous takes the ball and runs for a touchdown. The Rhino tackles so hard and makes the other team fumble and runs so many touchdowns that at half-time the score is 63-0.
The second half starts and the Rhino takes the ball and runs to the 50 Yard Line and is hit so hard that he is knocked out and fumbles the ball. When they roll him over, there's a Centipede lying under him smiling. The Centipede's team hoists him on their shoulders and parade him around the field and they all shout, "Where were you the first half?"
The Centiped said, "Lacing up my football shoes!"

Young bull in the pasture with the cows when farmer unloads his new breeding bull. The young bull runs out toward the new bull and starts pawing the ground. The cows holler ..... are you crazy, that bull will tear you apart. The young bull says, I just want him to know that I'm not a cow.

The cow that thought he was a helicopter already had mad cow disease, cubby....... you see, she thought she was a helicopter........get it, cubby...... nevermind, I'm just a bartender.

Lathan and I have the same joke book.......

Or the same bartender...

Uh, speaking of bartenders...

A guy walks into a piano bar, sits down by the piano and orders a drink. He's listening to the piano player and enjoying the music. The piano player takes a break and the guy pulls a small man about a foot tall out of his coat pocket and places him on the piano. This little guy is fantastic! He begins running up and down the piano keys playing the boogie woogie and other songs. When the regular piano player comes back from break, he picks the little guy up and puts him back into his pocket. The guy sitting next to him is amazed. He says, "Where in the world did you find that little guy?" The other guy tells him that he found a genie lamp down on the beach, rubbed it, a genie appeared and granted him his wish. The guy sitting next to him says, "Geez, I sure would like to make a wish, if at all possible..."
The other guy says there are 2 more wishes left, so go down to the beach, right by the pier and dig in the sand by the last post holding the pier. The guy jumps straight up and runs out the door. About 45 minutes later the guy comes back to the bar and there are ducks all over him, ducks in the sky, ducks on the street...everywhere you look there are ducks. The guy with the little man said, "Well, how did it go?" The other guy said, "Man, I don't think that genie hears too good...I asked for a million bucks and look at this...all these ducks!" The guy with the little man said, "Yeah, I know what you mean. You don't really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist, do you?"

NOW...the bartender (Whose mama raised NO fools!) hears the story, realizes there is still ONE wish left, rushes off down to the pier and asks for seventeen sturgeons.

HAR! HAR! HAR!

I had to have my appendix taken out and told my doctor I wanted to perform the operation.
He said, "Suture Self."

Did you hear the joke about the bed?

It hasn't been made up yet...(grammar school 1949)

"...seventeen sturgeons..."

Get it?

CUBBY, ARE YOU AWAKE?

Well, I probably would have asked for seventeen oars...

HAR! HAR! HAR!

I'm with Cubby! An "experienced" oar is better than a "first-time" sturgeon any day!!!!!

Anyone else interested in Gunsmoke DVD's?

Chuck

I already watched two CD's and They are great! I was gonna tell a good joke but Oner shut me down.
MVB ES

Funny stuff, Boys and Girls! Har! Har! Har!